JinxyBoi Loves You <3

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 16:28:24 GMT

http://ab.artisk.net

Ryan Loves You

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 23:28:39 GMT

omg omg omg I keep forgetting about my LJ. Probably because there's too much of it. =p

I think I'm going to abandon it. I'd rather just post pictures anyway. So that I will at my tumblr.

Oh! Yeah I got a new camera! Well an old camera, but, uhh, new to me. Also I live in an apartment with 3 monkeys who don't know how to behave or wash dishes.

Well, uhh, parting picture:

Wayne's eating sushi. And by sushi, I mean Wayne's eating a slab of raw Salmon he bought at the grocery store. Yes, that is gross.

And link to new place of business!
http://blackryan.tumblr.com/

Wha..wha?

Sat, 10 May 2008 18:39:36 GMT

I got a test on Thursday over John Hersey's

Hiroshima

and Steinbeck's

The Moon is Down

so I'm reading them (for the first time).

11 and half pages into

Hiroshima

, that's halfway into the first chapter, I start crying.

What?

10 things

Tue, 06 May 2008 03:31:20 GMT

10 things I've learned to do in college.

1. Wipe my ass with my other hand.
2. How to make pancakes from scratch in a microwave.
3. How to doodle and daydream while still looking studious.
4. Memorize a semi-interesting default answer for "What are you majoring in?"
5. Not commit to things
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Sniff sniff

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 02:46:52 GMT

My sickness level has multiplied, as it usually does. And at the great time of me trying to actually get work done too, how bout that?

Currently, I'm focusing on getting down the powerpoint and script I'm trying to use for the lesson I'll be teaching on Wednesday. It's about what I call "'Post-Photography' Photography" (see: photo editing).

In that old cottonfield back home

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 22:44:47 GMT

For the past few months or so I had switched over to a healthier lifestyle (like I fucking said I would; BOOSH!) and had cut out salted anything, soda, and anything that looked mad scary.

Well for the past few weeks that's been out the door as my future roommate brought over like a lifetime supply of chicken fried steak (lard fried heart attack) and a shit load of fried chicken. At the very same time I ran out of milk, Juice, veggies and fruit. And then my mom gave me two boxes of soda because she bought too much apparently or something. So I've been eating nothing but fried shit + mom's unhealthily delicious cooking and drinking soda for a good while. Then today I began feeling like shit and my throat started hella hurting. No bueno.

Then I read this comic and ran out spent the last of my moneys on milk, wheat bread, egg whites and a fuck ton of oranges. I've been eating the shit out of those oranges. Yarghgh. Yes, I am that big of an impressionable tool.

In other news I am... slacking..at everything. I need to practice my guitar for my palying final, I need to practice my script for a lesson I needa teach that I haven't even planned out, I needa practice French in general (because I subconsciously don't care for any language other than English and my mind refuses to retain any knowledge of them), I need to read a new book for my final English project since my prof has decided that my current one is shit, and I needa read three new books for the other English class that I thought was gonna be blow off easy but turns out to be raping me.

Whhyyyyyyyy

Yeah yeah yeah

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 13:37:42 GMT

I know I said I'd write more, but the crashing just became too much to bare. I THINK I've got it under control now though. But watch in like a sentence I'll be saying how it's still fucked up.

Nope, still works. Sweet. Anyway, I've been having this reoccurring dream about this gas station. I usually don't give a shit about things like reoccurring dreams because they're usually silly and for girls. Plus I don't have them very often.

However, yesterday I went to bed at 9pm (relatively early compared to my usual bedtime) and had the longest ass sleep in a while. Well in my dream I was driving a girl cross country back to her home and I stopped into a gas station to get...something.

I walk in and glance at the pretty latina girl at the register on my left, but proceed to walk to the right towards the backroom. When I step through, I see an Indian man (middle eastern) and an Indian boy (Native American) at a desk. As I step into the room, the man offers me some tea and I happily accept. The boy is drawing cartoons (comics rather) and this leads me to believe that he is Junior (from

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part Time Indian

which I have been reading recently).

So I talk directly to the man behind the desk and ask for a job application (since I will be working this summer to pay for apartment rent for said summer and the year afterwards). His face immediately lights up and in the most broken, incomprehensibly stereotypical accent I've ever heard, he starts talking about being an English enthusiast or something. He calls himself a "grammar slut" which makes me lawl to myself since he pronounces it "slit" and just his word choice in general amuses me.

As he's going on about God knows what, I look out his office window and see the girl I'm giving a ride sitting in a desk in a classroom bored out of her mind. She looks directly at me when she notices I've got her attention and she gives me this look like she's sad and I'm torturing her by leaving her alone. So I cut my conversation with the man short and proceeded to leave, but stopping to pay the cashier girl. As I fumble for the merchandise I picked up.. I realized I didn't buy anything and just tipped my invisible hat to her and walked out of the door.

And at this point my douche bag roommate's alarm goes off for the fifth time, which he snoozes for the fifth time. I don't even know why it's on, the fucker's class is at the same time as mine and he NEVER wakes up before me. Well that cut my dream to an end, which was fine, since my alarm was gonna go off in half an hour anyway.

But yeah, other than a few details (this was the first time I've asked for a job app; there's usually two Indian men behind the desk and no Indian boy in front of it) that's a dream I've had before and it just makes me wonder what all that shit's about. I try not to think about it, but it bothers me kinda.

Other than funky dreams, I'm still at the whole cool school shtool. I'm doing shitty in my easy classes and awesome in my hard classes (except for French which I always do shitty in). Oh boy, and after a 3.5 last semester? Why are my grades like a roller coaster?

I've been into Bus Gamer recently which is like, 80% bishonen, 10% homosexual tension, and 10% rawr I'mma stab joo. Oh, and Rumble Fighter, too much Rumble Fighter. 100% PVP MMO? H-h-h-hellz yeah.

And I'm finally gonna move out of the dorms and into an appartment. Me and 3 other guys in a 3 bedroom. I've been promised my own room, so them niggas better hold to that shit. I've got this fung shuei'd imagining of the layout already. It's gonna be totally weeaboo with plants and a sit down coffee table and a low to the ground bed (if not a couch fold out thing). Oh of course my dorky anime, comic book, and bikini girl posters all over the walls too to ensure I never get laid there.

Oh, did I mention I had a week long fling with a homeless nymphomaniac a few months ago? No? Good, because I'm trying to forget it. Who'd think I'd have ever said any of this paragraph in my lifetime?

I think I wanna move North, but I'm notoriously afraid of change. The world's so big and scary. And my only reason for wanting to move north is the ladies. Southern girls juuuust don't come in too many different flavors. And those who do are more like rejects rather than an example of variety.

And I really, really, need to get away from people who share the same hobbies as me because they almost always exceed my nerdisms by a tenfold. Anime fan homeboys? Downloading that hentai like a fiend. Gamer acquaintances? Pwn in certain games and any game they suck at, (to them) naturally, sucks ass. And they WONT. SHUT. THE. FUCK UP. ABOUT IT. I think it's just like the two sided coin of needing to dislike something for everything that you like.

Anyway, I have homeworks to get into. Might as well make use of my freetime. <3

And you, oh you really should have known!

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 00:52:59 GMT

Something about LJ's "Post an Entry" page enjoys freezing my entire browser. God bless that autosave thing.

Down to business then. Sorry about flaking on an entry yesterday, I was hella tired after all my driving yesterday. =p

Anyway, the past few...months.. of neglect that mai LJ suffered was a result of school being all school-y and shit. I seem to have hit an all time high (or is it low?) on how lazy I can get. It's weird, really. I've got like a terminal case of low motivation.

But what got me up and writing on this thing again after so long was actually something that happened earlier yesterday. It wasn't something life changing or anything of the sort, but it did rub me the right way.

Well, my Mondays begin with French under the dedicated professing of Dr. Edwin which for me is sorta like starting the day off with a prostate exam; you know it's good for ya and you gotta get it out of the way, but you can't really sugar coat and enjoy the situation of somebody sticking fingers up your asshole (unless you're some weirdo foreign language major or something).

Luckily, SHSU had a guest lecturer come in from St. Thomas University up in Canadia (sic). A Dr. Roger Moore and he was giving a workshop downstairs form my class on creative writing. I have no less than 3 classes in that building and I hadn't seen or heard word of the workshop. And apparently, neither did anyone else. So nobody showed up to his workshop which is like...really fucked up. So the panicky faculty who invited him had to draw a crowd by hand and they did so by coming into the foreign language classes and ask if they could spare a class day for a creative writing workshop. Thankfully my teacher submitted and allowed us to attend the workshop instead of going through with our normal French lessons. Oh, and for those who don't know, creative writing = relative to my interests.

Roger Moore (the workshop guy) was a delightful old dude. He had a neat accent and for some reason drew up impressions of Santa Clause (for the jolliness lol). He went about with his workshoppy things and gave us a tip about writing in a journal for like an hour a day at least, aiming for like 1000 pages a year or something. I dunno, he said he started doing it ever since his father had a stroke. I'm guessing it's just a reaction to how fragile and finite life can be? Either way he told us that 99.9% of what we'd write is crap, but it helps us recognize what

actually is crap

and in turn cut that percentage down and put out some leetness. He also made us do some exercise where we wrote 4 lines of something using 6 words from a bank he provided. I wrote some cliche'd shit about confining myself in darkness behind walls. I think it was referencing my nerdy loseryness or something, but he feigned a liking to it, which I didn't take too seriously but still made me feel good. I respond well to ass kissery and compliments, you see. Take notes, people.

And here we are, I'm typing and back at it I suppose. I'm gonna start another entry with my typical bullshit later though. I need to find out why this page keeps freezing my browser. It's a maaaajor pain.

Hey you!

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 17:09:34 GMT

I still love ya!

I'll be back! Pull up a chair, make some tea! Uncle Ryan is back from vacation and he brought souvenirs (stories, photos.. poems?)! Unfortunately I've business to take care of as well, so...

Here's something to occupy you in the meantime. I did end up making that video, and I did end up winning (2nd place).

I should be back and blabbering in a few hours, but I've gotta go to Conroe... then class. Strange days.

Lumbul Fightaru!!11

Thu, 30 Aug 2007 22:16:20 GMT

Oh yeah, I got Masama kung fu and I have no fuckign idea how to use it.

Also, I'm going to make a RF video for OGP's contest. It'll be the single nerdiest thing I've ever done since agreeing to download a Pokemon movie for Ray.

NERD RANGERS GO!

Life Soundtrack?

Thu, 30 Aug 2007 22:11:43 GMT

Cuz Lissa did it...

Opening Credits:
"Rapper's Delight" - Sugarhill Gang
[ I'm so awesome. ]

Average Day:
"Heaven's a Lie" - Lacuna Coil
[ WTF is that supposed to mean? Why is this band even on my hard drive? ]

Spending time with friends:
"Something in the Way" - Nirvana
[ Yay, are we sitting around in the dark getting high, playing Russian Roulette? ]

Driving:
"Tornado" - Mindless Self Indulgence
[ LMAO. I SNEAK UP AND HIT YOU LIKE A FUCKING TORNADO ]

Bad day:
"Dio" - Tenacious D
[ If only my bad days were this awesome and/or strange ]

Fight scene:
"Pennsylvania" - The Bloodhound Gang
[ Yeah, I'd probably get in barfights all the time just to forget that I live in Pennsylvania. ]

Mental breakdown:
"Walking on the Sun" - Smashmouth
[ THIS IS A LOVE ATTACK, IT WENT OUT BUT NOW IT'S BACK ]

Life is okay:
"Make Music With Your Mouth" - Biz Markie
[ WUT? ]

Graduation:
"Sunshine" - Lupe Fiasco
[ Huh?]

Longing for love:
"Gotta Get Away" - The Offspring
[ TOO FAST OR A BIT TOO SLOW, I'M PARANOID OF PEOPLE AND ITS STARTING TO SHOW ]

First glance/new crush:
"Harder to Breathe" - Maroon 5
[ This result is just as awesome as it is lame. lol ]

Secret love:
"Hey Lady Fans" - Ill Mitch
[ LMAO So I'm some kind of a creepy womanizer? ]

First date:
"Southern Sun" - Paul Oakenfold
[ Does this mean I get laid on the first date? Start shooting RYAN: THE MOVIE, now!]

Falling in love:
"Jah World J" - Wu Tang Clan
[ How very NO! ]

Love scene:
"Bodies" - Smashing Pumpkins
[ This is exceptionally creepy. ]

Breaking up:
"Platinum Blonde Life" - No doubt
[ ...I'm sorry baby, but I can't see our relationship moving on when you keep MURDERING PEOPLE ]

Long night alone:
"Prod" - Mudvayne
[ Eeeeewwww ]

Wishing for love to return:
"So Watcha Want" - Beastie Boys
[ I... don't understand... ]

Fighting to get him/her back:
"Can I kick it" - A Tribe Called Quest
[ Probably the most (if not ONLY) realistic result so far. I don't even try. ]

Proposal:
"Straight To Video (Don't Get Emotional Mix)" - Mindless Self Indulgence
[ Judging by the song, I guess the proposal ends in some kind of fucked up action scene from The Matrix concluding with a double suicide. ]

Wedding:
"Scaring Myself" - Bowling for Soup
[ I take it all back. This is probably gonna be the most realistic result thus far. Do I have a fetish for these kind of girls? ]

Reflecting on life:
"Zombie Nation (Remix)" - Kernkraft 400
[ Quick motion montage of a REALLY boring life ]

Reflecting on love:
"Hold You High" - Smashmouth
[ I DON'T UNDERSTAND ]

Death scene:
"Lean With it Rock With it" - Dem Franchise Boyz
[ If this is played at my funeral I will laugh heartily... then proceed to eternally haunt the bathroom of whichever fucker decided on the music.]

Closing credits:
"Violent By Design" - Jedi Mind Tricks
[ WHAT?! ]

Like the rest of my day, that shit is so damn off. My day seems to be kinda shifted.

I woke up today half an hour early (which was cool). I got to French class and found out that every piece of homework up to that point didn't count for OR against us, and my grades on them were almost all AWESOME, barring one which I did well on when I didn't even do it right lol.

Then later in the day I get to my Digital Photography class and I remember that we were gonna do a group lecture day and I didn't need to show up for 40 minutes. I just sat around goofing on the Mac though because the walking distance between my dorm and the building would have reduced any chill time to a piss break anyway.

Then when classes are over I go to HEB and I rush through and get there when the lot is packed. So I drive to the back row for an open spot. As soon as I get out, 5 people lining the front of the store's parking lot simultaneously pull out and leave. Then I figure, you know I'll take the rest of the day casually thinking maybe I'll prove more fortunate.

So afterwards I try to go to the post office and when I arrive it's 3:58 and they turn me away saying they close at 4. WUT. Got. Dammit. I need a money order to pay off my overdrawn account with Higherone (those assholes). auuughhhh.

I'm tired. I'mma sleepizzle. Can't wait for the wekend. Fuck that. I only have Dr. Phelp's poetry class left. The weekend's already begun. lol

Seasons don't fear the reaper

Sun, 26 Aug 2007 20:37:04 GMT

Hachaaa. It's been a while. Been distracted by school things and uhhh..

Here's Masama of course. After the V Neck, I kinda chilled on the clothes because as you can see, she lost her fighting style, so now I need about 5 more grand to buy Kung Fu. I should have it by week's end.

A New char, Neph (partially named after Fire Emblem character, Nephenee). Once I found out you could have Afros, I was all, oh snap, gonna have a guy character too! I haven't really dressed him up much yet because learning from Masama, I find that it'd be better if I hold off on aesthetics and go for a fighting style first.

Other than that MAJOR distraction, I've been dealing with a complete lack of privacy. My roommate, Sam.

First day back at school I saw I had no roommate. I was all, SWEET. That didn't last for long when around 9 at night a knock on my door came up and I was greeted by a Chinese kid and his two sweet yet unintelligible parents. Seriously, their English was broken to the point that they may as well be speaking French and I'd understand more.

Sam's English is significantly better, but still, if he gets too creative with his diction, I straight up wont understand him. Oh god, when he asked if I had "Battrees for my metrenim (sic; see metronome) I swear I went through my brain's dictionary twice (it's not a very big dictionary) trying to figure out wtf he was talking about.

But the fact that he can't just leave me alone is really the only thing I can't dig. Like, I'll go hang out with a couple friends and if he doesn't hear from me for a while he'll call me promptly asking where I am. Or if I'm on the computer he'll just pull up a chair, sit next to me and watch my screen during whatever I'm doing, regardless of what it is. I swear to god, he watched me Carat Farm for like half an hour yesterday in Rumble Fighter. Dude, I'm the one playing and even I was bored. He can't help it though, it's a freshman thing. Freshman kinda enjoy tagging along with people, but gotdamn. Whatever, he means well and that's good so no real complaints I guess.

Also, Meetah's been kinda friendly with me lately. She even suckered me into making her dinner sorta (have some bread and cheese, little lady). I'm debating whether I should pursue actions in trying to tap it. Damn I'm such an asshole. I blame that shitty School of Scoundrels movie I saw last night. But then again I was kinda being an asshole all semester so far anyway.

Like on first sight of the new RA, I was all, I wanna hit that! (to be fair, Ray said the same shit). Though, I kinda had a crush on our old RA because she's just so... damn perfect. She was an absolute sweetheart and kinda took care of you like a mom would, plus she's an English Major and well spoken girls are always attractive to me. Oh yeah, she was also stunningly pretty and had an ass out of this world. lol New RA isn't really anywhere near her level, but she's got that inherent RA hotness.

Unfortunately, she loses points for fining me for shit I didn't do though. Fucking really. I didn't notice a broken window in the room at sign up (and apparently neither did Res Life) but upon noticing it I told her about it because I'm supposed to, right? Well, fuck; they stuck me with the damn fine due to circumstantial evidence. If I didn't say a damn thing then they would have probably still gone on not noticing it. Assholes. She's trying to play as if she believes me though (yeah fucking right) but I wont hold it against her anyway because it's her job. But still...

Bah, fuck it all, I got some reading to do before my boys and I decide to just go on out to BW3's for some stupid wrestling shit and some delicious ass wings.

Guy-girl Gaming Follow Up

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 16:11:32 GMT

I had a moment of clarity when I realized I fought 10 straight battles just so I could afford little Masama her Miniskirt. This is kinda weird.

But who gives a shit, she's adorable and it looks cooler when she's whooping ass. H-h-h-h-hell yayuhhh.

Now I needa decide on a new top, and maybe a new haircut.
(Also, yes, that is a monkey on her back. It gives + 15% defense. It is a good monkey.)

Guy-Girl Gaming

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 23:42:56 GMT

So, I've been playing Rumble Fighter recently (the past day and a half) and like most other ~~Korean~~ MMORPG's, there's a significant lack of a black guy option when it comes to customizing and creating a character. Big deal though, who actually has characters that look exactly like them in the game anyway (unless you happen to be a pale scrawny Asian kid with green hair). So what I do is just make as appealing looking a character as possible. In Rumble Fighter, this meant I made a girl character. Now this wasn't a big deal to me... until things started getting gay.

My character (A currently level 7 Striker by the name of Masama) is adorable and kicks ungodly amounts of ass. Unfortunately, she kicks TOO MUCH ass and is TOO adorable. If I chain a 12 hit combo and then fling you over a fucking edge, I don't wanna hear "Bad girl, but I still love you". If you and some other asshole double team me and he gets the kill I'd honestly rather hear you whining about kill stealing than berate him with "Aww, she was mine! <3" type messages. That shit is very fucking wrong. If I have the only girl character finishing in the top 3 after each round, that doesn't mean that every faggot in the room should send me buddy requests, this also applies to if I compliment your skill. Seriously, wtf.

These characters are fucking avatars, not actually us. If I were to claim any relationship to my char, then it's one of a very protective father who forces his daughter into illegal street fights on glaciers and in boxing rings where the ropes have a current of electricity flowing through them (you know, as motivation).

Now, as to the morality of a guy playing a girl character. Is it some kind of sick perversion. Some other dude chick player came out and said he was actually a dude and he got a few joke call outs as a perv. Is it perverted? The fact that I kept quiet in the room hints toward a yes maybe. But is it necessary to pop into a room and declare first of all that "I'm not a girl, I just think she looks cooler. Thank you"? The history of dudes gaming as chicks began in the FPS world where girls had smaller hit boxes (oh exploitable) and form a tactical standpoint, it just made sense. But in today's gaming, that's really a non-issue (especially in Rumble Fighter).

So what is it? It's aesthetic. Leave it at that. Take that as you want because motivations for aesthetics range from normal to sick. (do you wish you were a girl? vs. do you find guys more attractive to look at than girls?). So I part by saying that my roommate last year was not a fairy, but was very much manly and very much not homosexual, he just liked he feel of women's underwear because they're softer and more comfortable.

P.S. By underwear, I mean socks because you wear them under your shoes.

Stay Frosty, Keep Cool

Sat, 11 Aug 2007 19:56:13 GMT

I've been pretty scarce this week. Couldn't be helped though, I've been down pretty much all week. This has easily been the worst week I've ever had in my life, and I will break it down into cuts.

So, Sunday the 5th was the day my Mom and sister were coming home from the Philippines, both of which I've missed dearly and have been eager to see them. So I was in good spirits the days prior, blogging about cars and sweet girls and getting punched in the crotch and all.

Well, the night of the 4th at around 11pm, my Dad decides to be a douchebag and wakes me up to fetch my help for cleaning the garage before mom gets back. I imagine he chose that time to do it because Mom wouldn't let him get away with making me clean out the garage in the middle of the fucking night when I have to be at work by 7am the next morning. Whatever, at least there's a fucking purpose to what I was doing, so I complied peacefully and we ended up getting done with work by 2 AM THE NEXT FUCKING MORNING. So I sleep, get my 4 hours (I'd normally wake up at 5am, but FUCK THAT SHIT).

So anyway, I wake, shower and head to work figuring in my breakfast into a 15minute break. So I work a while and decide to take my 15 minute break (which I never take because for some reason it feels like it takes more effort to go on a 15 minute break than it does to keep working), but I was hungry from no breakfast so I ran to MacDo (French for McDonalds. See what I did there?) and had a little sandwhich and some tea.

Then I get back to work and work on a dozen or so cars with Mike, Phil and Al (why the fuck 4 of us would work on one car at the same time is beyond me). One of the cars we worked on was an Oldsmobile Alero. I didn't think too much of it because Oldsmobile Alero's aren't really noteworthy when there's a delicious Infiniti a few cars down the line. All I know is that Mike did most of the work (though I changed the filter) and I SIGNED OFF on the car. (Keep that in mind...)

So some time later I go to lunch. Since I ate breakfast a few hours earlier I wasn't too hungry so lunch was settled over some fruit and yogurt in like half an hour. But we're supposed to take hour long lunches, though we can cut them down to half an hour at most if we feel so inclined. So I clock in early since I reaaaally needed the money (hindsight being 20/20, I really didn't need it for the reasons I thought, it would turn out), but since I was tired from no sleep I decided that rather than head back to the autobay, I'd take a short nap and let my stomach settle since my TLE associates weren't expecting me for another half hour anyway. So I nap for like 20 minutes, head to the restroom to leak the lizard and proceed to head back to the autobay.

However, as I begin to head back I get a call on the intercom to head back asap. I'm thinking at the time, okay.. do I REALLY need a reminder? I know my time is up... well as I'm going back I pass the Manager's office and Theresa sees me and is like... "what are you still doing back here?" Turns out a customer had a complaint and since I signed off on the car (the Oldsmobile) they were looking for me and noticed I was on lunch...but had clocked in early so I should have BEEN there. (Figures, the ONE time they look at the time sheets...) So she begins to see the whole picture and ignores why they called me in early and proceeds to scold me and accuse me of "Stealing Time". And I try to come up with a cockamamie excuse like "I needed my stomach to settle" and she doesn't want to hear any of it so she just sends me back on my way to the auto bay. At this point I was like... "Oh... I just know that I'm fucked..."

So I pop back in to Autobay and Jon, my Supervisor, walks over to me solemnly and is like "Did you work on this car (pointing to the Alero we worked on earlier that had reappeared in our bay)?" I said, "yeah I think so." Then he proceeds to tell me that it had NO OIL in it and it drove off like that and proceeded to lock up on Beltway 8 or something. Since I signed off on it, it's all fingers pointing to me. I'm like... wut. And he tells me that all the managers are pissed. Being women, they're going to automatically buy this guy's 10 year old piece of shit Oldsmobile a NEW 10,000 DOLLAR ENGINE (wtf kind of Alero has a $10,000 engine) even though it appeared to be running fine with it now filled. But what the fuck ever, point is they are PISSED. I assured Jon that I don't give a shit wtf the paper said, I didn't fuck anybody's car up. He just says "If you say so, man..." and then gives me that look that says, "I don't know how the higher ups are gonna deal with you, though...." After that the rest of the day is pretty uneventful... until I get to go home to see my Mom...

So I was feeling pretty down from work and rushed straight home to see mommy. When I was little, if I was sad or in a bad mood, I'd just run over to my mom or grandma for a hug and it seemed as if that just made everything all better. Even something as little as my grandmother running her fingers through my hair would comfort me to sleep, so I just grew up as the biggest Momma's boy. So as soon as I stepped through that door and I saw my mom coming down the stairs to greet me I just gave her a big hug and buried my face in her shoulder telling her how much I missed her and loved her. However my mom had this extremely tired look and all she could say to me was "Ryan, I have some bad news..."

She then recounts the events of her day in the Phillipines. She told me that that morning, she and my grandma went shopping before the plane ride home, and when she left, my Grandma still looked to be fine. However, when they touched down in Houston, my mom got a call from the Phillipines saying that my Grandma had passed out in a Taxi and that she was in a hospital now, in a coma. Turns out she had an aneurysm as a result of her high blood pressure and they're gonna need to operate on her.

For this we're gonna take out huge ass student loans in my name to pay for the surgery. Personally I don't give a shit about the money. If it means that my Mama is okay, I'd happily live the rest of my life in debt without a dollar to my name if it came down to it.

So the next day I'm feeling reaaaally bad, but I'm not to the point where I'm about to risk getting caught fucking up on time again so I soldier through work quietly when a few hours into my shift I get called aside by Sharron (one of the managers) and she tells me that she'd like to see me in her office. So me, her and another manager walk in silence to her office. Well, I'm walking in silence and they're talking about cakes or some shit. I don't know.

When we get there they sit me down in the administrative office (same office I was hired in). So Sharron, Erin and the other manager who's name I forgot (I just call her MILFish Latina lady) just all tear me apart about the car thing, (though I personally deny any involvement in the fiasco) and then they call Theresa in and she brings up the stealing time incident and then they decide to rip me up for that which I don't deny since, well, I did do that shit. Erin, a manager I've never even talked to EVER before today is the most particularly vicious and she calls me shit like "thief" and "liar" and "untrustworthy" and fires me on the spot.

Worse than the firing itself, the names Erin called me had me depressed all week (till I got my paycheck a day or so ago lol). I was just like wow. Every job I've ever had I was like, loved by everybody. At my first job, my coworkers and bosses even bought me a cake when I quit and threw me a little going away party (I loved them so much), and when I left Krogers, my supervisors expressed so much how they'd miss me (since I'd NEVER call in and I'd ALWAYS take up other people's shifts when they WOULD). It just goes against my will for there to never be bad blood between people and me. So yeah, Wal-mart just trashed me mentally for a good while, even if I could understand their displeasure with me.

As bad as I'm taking my Mama's bed ridden illness, my mom's been taking it worst of all. Of course she would, it's her mom. The stresses of going into debt and finding a loan that wouldn't rape us on interest is just stressing my mom out to infinity. She's even come up with a moderate cold as a result and it just pains me to see her like this. More over it worries her because like her mother, her only son is having problems with high blood pressure too (well, fucking great) and she's probably imagining me in the same position as my Mama and it's just wrecking her. So we hit up a clinic for a physical for me and all that stuff.

Yeah, they confirm my blood pressure is wacky, but otherwise I'm as healthy as an ox. My heart beats to mechanical perfection, my joints and shit are working great and I won't be having any hernias any time soon. I better not be having any fucking hernias any time soon, I let you touch my penis you homo. That physical increased the ammount of men who've touched my meat to one more than I'd fucking like, which is zero. I felt pretty violated, but after that my week has been getting better and i pray that everything follows suit.

As time stands today my car is back and passed inspection (though it's running extremely funny) and I got to make a trip yesterday to Advanced Auto Parts (that's new in town) to buy me a can of Seafoam. When I walked in, the store was so bright and everything was so clean. The shelves were so organized and as soon as I stepped in, a friendly elderly gentleman rushed to my side (it was a slow day) to help me out with my shopping. We stood in front of the gas supplements (to help my car run right) and we chatted for 15 minutes about everything there and it was just so pleasant and nice how much he knew and how much (he seemed) to actually care. We eventually decided to try the miracle worker Seafoam shit. I've seen some cool ass videos of it's results so I was like, hey why not. But the store is just so nice opposed to the douche bag 16yr olds at Autozone who just really don't know a thing and don't really give a shit since it's their part time. So I threw half the can in and mixed in about 6 or 7 gallons of delicious 93 octane. That whole deal put me in a great mood, then I decided to go hang out with Jeremy and Kyle.

When I got to J-Swab's house we decided to go try and fix my radio. So Jeremy took the center console apart (showing me the proper way to do it) and pulled my head unit to reveal.... (drum roll) A BLOWN FUSE. Trip to Radioshack and 2 dollars later (fucking rip off) MY CAR's BLARING SOME LUPE FIASCO AGAINZ! I have music and I didn't have to buy a big ass expensive new head unit! I was feeling like gravy and we just chilled and watched flash videos for the rest of the night.

Hopefully the rest of my week will proceed on some good notes as well. Crossing my fingers and praying.

Much love folks, peace.

Warning! Car Nerd Shit Ahoy!

Sun, 05 Aug 2007 03:48:55 GMT

As far as cars go, if you know me, you know that I love the nineties and recently, it seems as if I've hated every gotdamn thing to come out in the past near decade. After the turn of the millennium, every automaker decided to be like, "ITZ FUTURE TIMEZ!" and have come up with these aesthetically atrocious new car designs for the sake of sci-fiyiness and cutting edge.

While some may argue that my views are completely subjective (and they are) and completely led by nostalgia (very much so) and a stubborn opposition to change (Ryan smash what Ryan not understand!), I do still feel that a lot of cars today just suck ass as a whole. So I present to you...

RYAN'S TOP 5 NEW CARS OF THE PAST 5 YEARS (or whenever)!

5. 2005 Neon SRT-4
Almost didn't wanna list it, what with it being far from new and discontinued as of 2005. Also there's the fact that it's a FUCKING 4 DOOR NEON. No, wait, now that I really think about it, fuck this spot. Neons are gay and the SRT-4 ALMOST changed that until Dodge killed it. Good fucking going. The Calibur sucks donkey balls. Believe it. Honorable mention. The Chevy Slowbalt SS. The vehicle just fucking screams GOTDAMN RENTAL CAR. I remember when the Trailblazer SS was announced, I made a comment to some friends about how all that is left is for GM to make a Cavalier SS and the SS badge would officially be dead and meaningless. Their response was that "it already exists; it's called the Cobalt." These words were a sudden moment of clarity. The Cobalt is a Cavalier. Would a Cavalier SS be cool? No. Why the fuck would a Cobalt SS be then? I believe that says it all.

4. OKAY, GUESS WHAT, I'M FULL OF SHIT. THERE AREN'T 5 AWESOME CARS WORTH LISTING FOR THE PAST 5 YEARS. Sure there are cars like the G35 and 350z, but they would only be cool if one or the other did not exist. Their coexistence dooms them to mediocrity from my perspective. Then there are great cars that continued into the current years, but that's all they're doing. Continuing. Nothing noteworthy, really. There are also a bunch of cozy little sedans I like such as the Veedub Jetta GLi, but because they are sedans, they are also doomed to mediocrity. I'm sorry, I didn't make the rules. Wait yeah I did. lullz

3. 2008 Nissan Altima Coupe 3.5 SE
Let me say this first and foremost. I hate Nissans(made after 1999, HERRRRR). I hate Altimas. I hate that vomit inducing exhaust sound every Nissan with the stock 3.5 emits, but Got damn is this thing cool. Hard to say no to 270hp (lulz, torque steer) and I love what they've done with the interior (coming from the last generation of Altima). Too bad the thing is xbox hueg and has the same styling as the 350z and G35 and the (yet to debut) GTR (Gotdamn, I hate you Nissan). Honorable mention goes out to the G6 GTP Coupe. Seriously, I almost went with it instead. I was willing to look over the fact that it's slightly larger than the Altima, slightly SLOWER than the Altima, and the fact that it has a slightly less favorable power to MSRP ratio than the Altima. Hell, the fact that it ISN'T and Altima gives it points. Unfortunately, it's fate was sealed by the fact that the GTP does not come with a 6speed classic true fucking blue manual transmission. That and I'm an ass man; just one look at the Altima Coupe's booty did it for me.

2. 2008 Lexus IS350
This one was a toughy for me. I seriously try to fight off the Toyota bias. Honest. Fucking thing has 4 doors (SEDANS = OLD PEOPLE = NOT SPORTY = YOUR NEW PRIORITIES ARE JUST STAYING ALIVE AND LOVING YOUR CHILDREN). No manual transmission (why not just get a chauffeur at this point). But when a car looks THAT good and has 306 horsepower, I can forgive. And gotdamn does it look good. when I first saw the concept I nearly creamed my pants. CONCEPTS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ASS UGLY. THIS IS GORGEOUS. WANT. Still, too bad about the whole 4 doors and auto thing. Honorable mention goes out to the 2008 Pontiac G8. Only reason it ain't here is because the IS350 looks uber better than it and the fact that it hasn't even debuted yet. But even then, the IS500F is around the corner to rape the G8 anyway.

1. 2008 Saturn Sky Red Line
What is this?! Ryan's favorite car of the past 5 years is a gotdamn SATURN?! YES MOTHER FUCKER, it's a GOTDAMN SATURN. LOOK AT IT. An exotic born into peasant clothing. Easily one of my favorite roadsters of all time, if not the number one favorite. RWD, droptop, 260hp, 30miles to the gallon, and under 30large? It's a fucking purpose built fun machine. I swear to God, when I hit my midlife crisis, I'm snatching this babe. Simply put, it's absolutely gorgeous and has the performance to match. On that note, I'd like to give the Pontiac Solstice it's credit as an honorable mention, simply for being mechanically identical for the most part, just falls flat on it's face in looks when compared to the beauty of the Saturn Sky.

And there you have it. The top 3 cars of recent time. Yeah fuck you, I got tired trying to put thought into something as tripe as all that. What I'm saying here is that the automotive world needs a a fucking renaissance of sorts again. Back in the day, people built cars for the sake of saying "HOLY SHIT JIM, CHECK OUT THIS BAD ASS CAR I MADE." "SWEET SHIT, AMERICA NEEDS THIS." I guess with Japan rolling in and introducing some nice autos as well and appealing to the capitalistic mind sets of Americans. After that it was all cheap auto this and gas mileage that. (Today it's more like 'gas mileage + zomg save the environment her herr') and it became a sellers game. Couldn't keep making cars that were just awesome, had to appeal to moms and dads and grandpas and the kids and the dog and fuck knows what. I long for a day with more cars that are so unforgiving and impractical like the Lotus Exige. Designed or the sole purpose of WOOOHOOHING.

Aw, who am I kidding, enthusiasm is dead. I blame old people. Seriously, they are the anti-fun.

Like I'm 4 feet tall Standing Behind a 4' 3" Wall

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 04:24:54 GMT

Yaaay, I failed safety inspection! MORE THINGS I GET TO FIX! So I've been driving around for the past half week with an expired tag. I figure I'll consult mom first (gets back day after tomorrow THANK GOD).

I wanted to blog about something but everytime I'd start writing about something I decided i didn't wanna talk about it.

I dunno, just feel tired these days. I bought some actual work shoes (too bad it was after i destroyed my Orange Vans and aesthetically murdered my Classics with oil and gunk.) Steel toed, slip resistant, OIL RESISTANT and look half nice. Plus they make me look an inch taller which is always sweet.

Oh yeah, also I was cruising Facebook the other day and found out this chick I had a thing for when I was in like the 8th grade goes to Sam now and she's into Photography. Kiilleeer. I know that sounds lame as hell since that's like Junior High and shit, but back then we were really close and I swear to God, I've never met a girl I got along with so well before in my life. So yeah, I did the Facestalker thing and messaged her with some gay ass shit like "oh my god how are you?!" And I said some really corny stuff like I was an internationally known wrist model (ladies love braggadocio.) I suggested we should meet up later after school starts to like go shooting or something. I think I came off a little too cheesey and I think she kinda caught on to that. lol Ah well, that's just how shit is I guess. still nice to talk to her for the first time in half a decade, and it's cool that she hasn't changed a bit. I'd like to think that I've changed assloads though. In an attempt to calm down my hyperactive assholery, I think I've become a little TOO reserved these days and I dunno if she'd be into that since I'd be a generally less entertaining individual. Ah who cares, what happens happens.

Oh yeah, I found a video of that one night when my friends and I were lanning with a massive presence of alcohol and we decided to go on a food run with Melvin and Wayne both drunk as shiiiit.

Ahh, good stuff. I'd talk more, but you tu8be has a fresh batch of Celica videos I've never seen and well, I wanna see. =P

There's no Solution to my Conviction

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 17:33:01 GMT

Sooo... I decided not to go to the mc chris show the other night. Partially out of lazyness, partially out of not wanting to spend money on gas/tickets/swag, but mostly out of reaaaally not wanting to fucking get my car stolen. Yeah, turns out the show was not at Washington's, but at Walters on Washingtons, which is pretty much the same area as Mary Jane's Fat Cats which is ghetto beyond ghetto. Last time I was there, I went with my boy Chris, his cousin Joel, and a couple of Joel's friends. When we stepped out we were like, "Damn Joel, if your car isn't stolen it'll be because it's a piece of shit."

No fucking way am I submitting my baby to such an environment. So Instead I opted to hang out with Wayne and Jeremy that night. lol We installed this ricey ass APC Short Ram Air Intake onto his Civic. Wayne says it makes his car way faster, but I'm pretty sure that's just a placebo effect since he just blew thirty dollars on something made by APC. In fact, all it did was give his Civic that signature ricer sound and make it obvious just how slow it really was since it amplified the engine noise enough that you could hear where his power would fall off (and fall off HARD).

Beyond that it's just been worky work work work for the past few days. Yesterday I ran into Chris and Paulo after my shift, neither of which I've seen in like years. Chris apparently shaved Paulo's head when they were high one day which is fucking hilarious. Both of em are going into the military (Chris of which into a tank division which is bad ass). It was cool though, we stood around at chatted for like half an hour and really made me realize how much I missed these guys. Cool folk stay cool.

Well, today I was supposed to work at 7, but when I woke up, I could barely move myself out of bed and I had only 30 minutes before my shift started so I figured I'd just call in today. I've worked over time a lot lately so I figure it'll even out by paycheck time. What I'm wondering now is if I can somehow get away with coming in to work to pick up my paycheck for the past period even though I called in sick. lol

I dunno, I'mma eat. Peace

I know you can't Swim When you've Been Dead 100 Years

Sun, 22 Jul 2007 23:27:46 GMT

Past week hasn't been too great. Douchebag customers that made me realize why people hate working retail and why Wal-mart employees in particular treat customers like shit. I won't get into details because some overwhelming feeling in the back of my head is telling me that I shouldn't.

Aside from that, I'm really not enjoying my job as much as I should anymore. I only take joy in those brief and rare moments that it's not busy and I can lose myself in thought while idly sweeping the shop floor, or when some poor fool takes their really nice car to us and I can get a chance to drive it for that oh so cozy 100 or so feet.

These few days where I don't work, grow increasingly more precious. Actually got some things done today, though. Went grocery shopping because the stockhold of the house isn't quite suitable for my new healthy livin' lifestyle. I bought some health Cereal (Smart Start, FUCK YEAH), 2 jugs of Minute Maid "enhanced" orange juice, 5 pounds of delicious red apples, a big ass wad of Mozarella cheese (because my little sister asked me to make her some cheese sticks for when she returns to the U.S. since I more or less lied about being capable of making em.), a loaf of wheat bread and a 6 pack of Yoohoo.

I can explain the Yoohoo's place in my health-freak diet, though. Yooohoo is delicious. And I swear to God I ate two salad meals last week, that's twice as many salads as I've eaten in the past year combined, I fucking deserve this.

Other wise my meals have been health cereal in the morning with Lactaid milk (recently I've become slightly lactose intolerant) and a slice of bread with a slice of cheese and an apple (if I have time). Then I hit up lunch with whatever I can get. It's been Subway sandwiches and salads this week. One day I had a burger & fries because my dad brought me a Whopper from Burger King and, well, it's a shame to waste. lol It had vegetables on it, gimme a break. Dinner's been leftovers from Mom's cooking prior to her leaving for the Philippines. Once again, a shame to waste. But it's been small portions. I'd say I'm pretty proud of how I've been holding up so far this week, everything considered.

Next week, mc chris is having a show downtown at Washington's. Luckily, I have that day off. I'm so on it. Every mc chris show that I've shot has been with me flash raping him. It's a miracle any of them even came out half decent, but my experience at Lizard's gave me some concepts on how to handle low lit active shots.

Ready

oh.. the flash.. man...hungyaahh

Weeell, that's pretty much all I have to talk about. I ordered 50 bucks worth of guitar stuff the other day though, because it's getting pretty lame playing out of tune and without my amp, but I still needa get a case for it what with transporting it between here and the dorm.

Ahh, but that's neither here nor there, still got bills to pay after all. Whatever, peace.

*note to self, work on conclusions

Read a book

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 14:14:51 GMT

K, gotta hit up work, but here's this because it's the most god awesome thing ever (regardless of how old it is):

...not a magazine but a book, nigga, a fucking book!

All that shit's gonna catch up...

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 21:12:12 GMT

Well, just got back from the dentist. Long story short, I'm going to die horribly early of some kind of sick ass heart explosion.

Seriously though, on a whim they decided to go take my blood pressure and it was "dangerously high". Three different doctors took my blood pressure level 5 times together and each came away with this freaked out ass look on their face. They refused to do my teeth cleaning and shit and told me to hit a fucking doctor as soon as possible.

Up until I heard this, I felt I was in perfectly fine physical condition. I can rock climb, I can skateboard, I can ride a bike, I can run around in the blistering Texas heat for hours with no problem, now they tell me I'm fucked up? Granted I came into the doctor coming off of 3 hours of sleep after a night of drinking (I of course did not tell them this), but the results are apparently terrible to the point that the doctors all gave me looks like I could drop dead any second.

So you just know after hearing this news and they dismissed me, I started feeling funny. Like "hey, I think I do feel something wrong with me!" Mind tricks are amazing. You know, nobody dies without seeing it coming first. Back in the bible days nobody could diagnose each other with cancer, and mofos lived for 100's of years till they got eaten by a whale or trampled by Spartans or something. Way to curse me, cock suckers.

So I figure I may as well work some prevention methods:

No more soda

No more Fried X with cheese

200% more fruits and vegetables

200% grainy cereals

Still no salads. Salads are gay.

2 and a half meals a day, no snacks.

Hopefully that'll do it. I 'll probably keep that shit up till around November, then I'll rebound to my life of gluttony again. But man, if I wasn't stressed before, I sure as fuck am now. Thaaaaanks!

Chawklit Raiiiin!111

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 18:14:52 GMT

So last night Jeremy threw a LAN party because his family is out of town and he could afford to have Me, him, Wayne, Kyle and Melivn act a fool and be loud as usual with no real repercussions.

As usual, the LAN had really minimal gaming. Actually, ONE ROUND of ONE game and the rest of the night we were all pretty much just drinking and acting like morons. Needless to say it was the most fun we've had at a LAN in a while. lol

I drank like 3 bottles of assorted flavors of Schmirnoff which is pretty much alcohol for little girls. It wasn't enough to get me buzzed even though that's the most alcohol I've ever consumed in a single sitting. I made it an objective to eat its weight in food to even things out. Hell, if I had it my way, I wouldn't have even drunken that much, but Melvin and his fondness for peer pressure had me chug a bottle and nurse another two while screaming at me calling me a pussy.

Maaaaaan, he and Wayne got soooo fucking drunk. It was so damn hilarious. They were falling over shit, spitting out nonsense and slurring their speech sooo bad, I thought they HAD to be faking it. I mean, it was just so stereotypical drunken college boys shit you know. lol but man, Melvin started rambling about loving some chick he hates or shit. I dunno the details, but everytime he'd let something slip about her, he'd literally start CRYING and begging for no one to tell her or anyone who knows her he said shit like that.

And later when we went on a food run (Kyle being the soberest to drive despite drinking the most over the entire day too which is WEIRD.) Wayne would just keep yelling about wanting a single taco and a milkshake and he'd keep passing Kyle dollar bills and Kyle would keep "forgetting" Wayne gave him money until he emptied out all of Wayne's wallet and Wayne just gave him his credit card to cover everyone's food (at which point everyone decided to supersize and double their order with some sides.) What I really find hilarious is that I've never been around Wayne when he drinks hard and up until now he always told me he never gets drunk. lol fucking right

Well after we ate our huge meal, everyone got hit with the itis and proceeded to pass out on our respective couches. When I woke this morning (around 6:30 since I have a dental appointment today in like an hour) I saw Wayne suffering on the bottom steps of the staircase nursing his hangover. Me, I felt so ungod-believably refreshed it was amazing that I only got like an hour and a half of sleep. Felt so bad for Wayne, and probably Melvin when he wakes. I pretty much just split so I could make it home before dad left (didn't but still).

Melvin: "DAMMIT RYAN, IF YOU DON'T GET ME ANOTHER BEER, I WILL CUT YOU OPEN AND USE YOU FOR COTTON!"
(lol wtf, don't ask me)

Kyle: "Man, I hope T-Bone is working [at Jack in the Box] tonight. He'll probably be outside smoking weed and give us some free fries just to leave him alone. lol"
Wayne: "THATS JUST LIKE ME AT CIRCUIT CITY EXCEPT I TELL PEOPLE TO GO FUCK THEMSELVES!"

Melvin: "Ryan, you should be lucky, I didn't get to have peer pressure to get me started on drinking. I had to start on my own!"

Kyle: "Why am I the most sober person here? I drank the most out of all you pussies"
Melvin: "Holy shit, man you came fucking full circle. In High school you were like wasted everyday..." (at this point Melvin begins to ramble on for like 15 minutes about Kyle in high school for no reason and we're just laughing at how lost he is in thought)

Aaanyway, off to dental appointment. Peaceo ut.

Double Dose

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 07:47:28 GMT

Well, these rolls sucked ass. I'd say none of these shots are good, and only a couple are interesting. Plus I used Walmart's cheap development service this time because they added some bullshit I didn't want to the premium service and tacked on a higher price. I figured I wouldn't notice a difference, but holy shit, there it is.

Anyway, here are those couple of those "semi-interesting shots," one from each roll.

Booty Bloom

"Hey, there's some creepy guy taking photos of your butt."

Annyway, you blow up a small section of a print that was developed into supreme flatness? Ouch. How to fix? unpossiblez! Can only....BLOOMZ!

I forgot the name of the girl with her "back" turned to camera, but she's friends with my horribly irritating buddy, Ray.

In it For the Ladies

IT'S NOT WORKING! needs moar ampedness.

Self timer, low lit, experimentation. that explains how you can see through me sorta to the vase behind me. lol Wait, no, that just raises MORE questions!

Yah, I'm going to sleep now, got work in the morning and I'm too lazy to blog wooooorrrrdddddzzz.

Wha.... why?

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 03:45:05 GMT

My fish is a fucking demon spawn asshole an deserves to burn in hell reserved for only the most gluttonous pieces of shit to ever exist.

OR My fish is a hardcore ass wild motherfucker that don't take no shit off of nobody and can't afford to live with other fish smaller than him.

The fish I'm talking about is my unofficial pet algae-eater, Papercut. I named him Papercut because when he was about a medium sized fish (bigger than the other fish, but still small compared to how big he is now) he'd always get pecked and bit by the other fish he shared his tank with. He'd just chill and take it since it wasn't any hardcore shit they were doing. Something trivial like a paper cut you know?

As time would go on, the other population of fish would slowly get phased out and die one after another mysteriously. I figured they were just frail little pussies and had short lifespans. However, the more they died the bigger Papercut got in some odd little world of ratios.

I now know why the other fish used to "attack" Papercut. He's a food stealing douchebag.

You see, my mom has been out of town for the past week or so, so I've inherited the task of feeding les poissons. Every time I'd feed them I'd notice the one small fish (the only surviving member of the group) would freak out everytime I'd start feeding and scramble around in circles trying to get the food. I thought this was odd till I saw Paper cut get off his ass and act VERY un-algae-eater like. He starts swimming around going for all the krill munchies I just dropped off for the other fish IGNORING those shitty looking algae-eater food discs I put in. He'd swim around the surface upside down inhaling every fucking thing. I'd see this and I was all, woah got damn. Shit is crazy. But I didn't think too much of it. Surely the other fish got some too, Papercut COULDN'T have possibly eaten EVERY fucking thing in there.

Flash forward to an hour ago. I go over to feed the fish and as I pop open the lid, I notice that little dinky fish isn't around scrambling in anticipation for munchies. I immediately know something is wrong. Then I look over to the side of the tank, plopped on the little plastic treasure chest, dead on it's side is little fishy. Poor thing must have fucking starved to death. Papercut essentially murdered it as far as I was concerned at that point. The cool, calm and collected lazy boy was a greedy sumbitch fish killer.

Seeing the little fishy's dead corpse on the rocks depressed me more than I've ever been depressed in a good ass while. Even now, just thinking of that image just hurts my soul. After a while I turned my thoughts to Papercut. WHAT AN ASSHOLE. I can't beleive he'd just let his roommate starve to death like that. That's just so damn terrible. I'm sure y'all had your differences, but c'mon, I know you're a bigger man then that. Seriously, mother fucking thing is a foot and a half long now I'd bet.

So then the anger fades away and I'm intrigued. I imagine a story of a warm summer day. A gaggle of fucking Petco poachers are wading beaches of California with little plastic bags, scooping up adolescent algae-eaters to sell away as organic tank cleaners. Assholes. One specific algae-eater gets caught that day. An algae-eater to be named "Papercut" some day.

Now, you can take the fish out of the wild, but you can't take the wild out of the fish. As soon as they drop him off into a random tank at a store, he fucking shanks the biggest fish to establish his authority. The other fish in the tank never encroach upon his teritory ever again and only greet him with fear and cowering.

Fast forward a few days and he's bought and dumped into a new fish tank at some family's home. There's about a dozen of these tropical looking motherfuckers around him. They've been here a while, they're used to the ecosystem the way it is, they don't care for shit about the new guy. But that's cool with Papercut. He likes it that way. Same as the wild; survival of the fittest mother fucker.

Fuck nourishment, Papercut eats to grow. The name of the game is motherfucking volume and Papercut hasn't gotten quite enough weight on him to out-muscle those tropical looking sumbitches. So he eats his share...and then some.

When he can, he sneaks a bite of their portions. The times he gets caught, they beat the shit out of him, but he's a wild mother fucker. He'll take it and get back at it in a day. They'll see what he's capable of in enough time.... and they do. One after another he spreads them thin, taking one out week by week till it's just him and the lacky. The lacky was the smallest so he could go with the least food, that's how he lasted this long. But Papercut's a growing boy.

Oh, did he grow. Papercut now outweighs him 20 to 1, and that shit is all muscle. As Paper cut stares down the lacky, the lacky can only imagine how bad they've underestimated this wild fish. He remembers how they thought nothing of Papercut when he arrived. Papercut was barely bigger than the lacky was at the time!

The lacky paranoid mind begins to hear music playing: the bass thumping, the beat rolling. Then a voice booms...

Right here is where the end's gonna start at;
conflict, contact and combat.
Fighters stand where the land is marked at
to settle the dispute about who's the livest.

3 word answer:
Whoever survives this.

Only one of us can ride forever;
so you and I can't ride together,
can't live or can't die together,
all we can do is collide together,
so I skillfully apply the pressure...
won't stop until I'm forever... one!

No more music. No more words. It's over. Papercut is the one left.

He lays unopposed: him, his mass, and himself. This wild fish has conquered his oppressors, but he still lives in captivity. But now, he lays isolated. What will happen to his raw firey spirit? Will it extinguish from the comfort now that the world is his? Fuck if Papercut knows or cares, it's fucking dinnertime.

Yeah... lol I'll make a second entry after this that's actually worth something. This one got waaaay too weird.

Sun, 08 Jul 2007 22:57:38 GMT

Ellooo. I'm enjoying my weekend off I guess. I rolled up to Walmart yesterday and saw they didn't have me scheduled all weekend (the busy days) and I was thinking, "man, that's really nice of em!" Up! No, wait, they're gonna have me close everyday for the rest of the week. =___= I see your bastard game you corporate assholes.

The more I'm at work, the less hot I think that Lupe chick is. She's still gorgeous, but she's beginning to look too jailbait. I think it was because those scene kid glasses she wore the first day I met her wasn't part of her normal garb. Yeaaah, I got one of those meganeko fetishes. Now I'm more into that Quantell chick. Her name still bothers me with its ridiculousness, but she herself is very cool. A rose by any other name would still smell just as sweet, as they say. I also find it attractive how she tries to run me over everytime I jokingly intend to block her path when she's moving cars. I've decided to stop doing that because she's gotten to the point of assuming I'll move out of the way when she gets close and has ceased to hover her foot on the brakes while limiting acceleration.

Also, that Lupe chick kinda hates my boy Chuck, and that's uncool. Chuck's such a good guy, he's got like three teeth left in his mouth and all of em are crooked. He's an ex-Air Force Mechanic, and a recent divorcee, not quite over the hill but old enough to nearly lose all his hair. Life's kinda shitting on him at the moment, yet he still remains a hardworker (hardest worker out of all my coworkers) and a damn nice guy. Now, who pisses me off is this Al mother fucker. He's also new to the bay, but he used to work as an unloader at the same store. So he knew everyone there, just not the job.

He fucking SUCKS ASS at this shit. He's like a total 180 from Chuck. He'll cut corners every opportunity he gets. Granted a lot of us (not Chuck for the record) do this sometimes when the days get busy, but he does it all the time. At the computer screen, if there's info that needs to be recorded, he'll make shit up wherever he can. When there's work to be done and there's at least Moen guy on each task, forget helping, he'll stand around talking on his gotdamned cell phone till someone asks him to do something. What kinda shit is that? When there is work to do he'll avoid and go off to do something easy like wash windows or some stupid shit. And does anyone give him shit? Hell no. Because he's in his late twenties, and everyone already knows him. No need to give him instruction or chastise him, he's old enough to handle himself. Well fuck that, I'mma start calling his ass out since I haven't even seen Gerall's punk ass doing it. I also think it''s because he's Haitian or something. When I first heard him talk I was all wtf. He pronounces oil as "earl" which leads to a LOT of communication problems and undue wasted time. At first I thoguht he was from Louisiana and that Frenchyness causes Louisiana mofockas to talk funny, but after a while it seemed more proper African of soem sort. Plus this dude is like 6'7" and I guess that's part of why Gerall's short ass doesn't give him shit. lol

Aaaannyway, the other day I brought in two rolls of film that were long overdue for some developing. They should be back on payday and hopefully they'll be good for some showing off. I think among them is also my infamous "6th roll" from the SLAB car show last May or April. I think it was at that point I ran out of cars to shoot so my buddy Ray suggested I start taking shots of all the scantily clad women walking around. The other was a bunch of random low lighting indoor shit I believe. I think a few of me and my geetar becuz I luvz it.

Oh yeah, started writing a new song and... damn I need that instrument cable so I can use my amp. At first I was gonna write a silly song where the words consisted entirely of "SEAKING FUCK YEAH!!!!!" over and over again, but the instrumentals were getting a little too detailed for that. I dunno, I'll see how it goes.

Also, I wanna come up with a kick ass stage name. Something suitable for a folk singer/ song writer. I figure my first LP/Demo will be called "Broke and Unambitious". It will sell millions.